The Disappearance

I want to pack 3 shirts and a sweater. 5 instant noodles and a pouch of skincare in traveling size.
I want to have an empty water bottle and couple of socks.
Maybe an extra pair of pants and umbrella (because the weather has been unpredictable lately).

I want to pack and go.
Somewhere alone, without music and the notifications.

I don’t know if I will still be hurt, because it’s complete darkness no matter where I look.
It’s like running away (and I don’t care).
The same thing like how much I eat these past days (and still feel nothing) or how deft I am with all these noises.
Every day is like a constant battle. With myself. With the surrounding and the noises.

I really want to pack and go. 
Somewhere alone, without the sadness and the pain.