//November 09, 2010//
One question often appears on some beauty pageant contest, “If you could change one thing from your life, what would it be?”. The repeated question appears couple of times on the following events, with the same dictate answer. “Nothing”, so they said. The truth is, people rarely satisfied with their present life, the past, or the so called future they will had. The “what-if” aren’t an easy popped-up thoughts to deal with. Followed by regrets and remorse. The sad truth is time machine doesn’t exist. Nor the time traveler, and the time paradox, or whatever it’s called out. Back to the Future is just only classic movies, packed in racks. Every time, the clock is ticking and the earth is still rotating. Oh, time is such a bastard.
Flew back in time as a child, what do you do when you don’t have any direction to go? When you still couldn’t even think what choices really are. You followed orders, that your parents guided you to. You chose the choices that made for you. The choices are vary. Universities, majors, careers, working places, girlfriend/boyfriend, hobbies, etc. Some were choices you admit what a brilliant idea later on, and some were just ambitious choices that didn’t click with any veins inside of you. A child is a young and fragile soul. The wanderer who travels through constant maze, hope to find a right path, and somewhat destiny to be found later. The truth is, are you really a product of choices made by yourself? Or are you just some marionette with strings from home?
Every one of us is a child, with biological parents or physical godparents. Every child has basic instinct to two things. One, go to heaven and two, making your parents proud/happy. Refers to the first sentence, obviously all of us want to make others proud, especially our parents. So, we seek chances, references, experiences, and all things they haven’t done before. In a serial of way, we’re still trying to fulfill the same goal. Some child is using the traditional path. Followed their role-model, they become a miniature of their parents. Lawyer will have the son that will become a lawyer, doctor will have a son that will become a doctor, same almamater, same career, etc. The drama is repeated, maybe for some next generations. Some child is using the alternative ways, they aim higher. Life for them is like a talent contest, achieving something is what they called a winner. Scholarship aboard, highest GPA, olympic science competition, oil and gas company, the obvious targets. Some other child is just stubborn, and they tend to use the rebellious ways. After a series of unexpected unsatisfied choices their parents have made to them, they started to stop using the choices. Some were going nowhere, abusive drug use, detention from school, failed grades, others bad choices. Some were good enough, started playing in bands/soccer teams/clothing line/magazines, get famous, going on tours, others serial of good choices.
But the worst of all is the child using the silent ways, the most suffering ways. They were good enough to use the traditional ways, followed orders and stuff. They were great enough to use the alternatives ways, achieving things beyond beliefs. So, what’s the deal? They remain silent when it comes to choices, because deep down inside, they’re longing for the rebellious ways. In the world when silence isn’t golden anymore, they keep doing what the proverb said. Suffering, wanting other choices, their own choices.
On the parents perspective is all the same. They want us, the child, to be better than they already were. Admit it, they live longer than we do. They might cursed time more than we were, they might dealt with series of remorse much more than we had. All that they want is simply, be better, make them happy, and make you happy. When the definition of happiness for both sides is started to blur, are the choices is still matter?
Silence isn’t golden anymore. I’m not better than any of you but I know words are sharp, it can cuts and make others bleed. Advise is might be not what you seek, but let’s do the talking. Sit down face to face, without breaking things or burning down the house. Action speaks louder than talks they said, but this time, the talk is the action. So, speaks louder. Regretting and complaining will get you nowhere. Because after this time, you’ll do the choices by yourself. Marriage, finance, another child, and those reality things you have to deal with. Be prepare, young and fragile one.
Yes, I’m not better than any of you, nor my parents, or sisters. I’m started walking either in the alternatives and rebellious ways. But the last time I reality checked myself, I talked to my parents about things, and started crying and threw things. After some time, I know they’re just longing for my happiness. Here I am, making friends with those choices. Still confused, still wandered around. So, what have you done to yourself?