Here Right Now

Growing up in this era, sometimes made me confused which values I should hold onto more. My circle of friends is getting older in terms of age. They should be in the late 20s or starting their 30s. Some of them gained a new circle and become a clique. Some stays, convince themselves that they stay in the loop by saying hello in the chat room every two weeks, or a month. It’s a surprise that a friend just hops from another company to another, some started their own YouTube channels, some just stop running and trying to settle with their routine.

The trend always comes and goes. There was a time when travelling becomes a thing (or always a thing), then coffee tasting (or cafe hopping), then marriage preparation and parenting method seminar (which make the singles become so sick of hearing it), and then financial awareness (suddenly everyone is about to invest, in something they don’t understand but trying so hard to understand). Is it really a trend or is it just a phase of growing up?

I sometimes wonder what they talk at home. When the TV is turned off and the light dimmed down. With their spouses or with themselves, within the walls between their beds. Family-related issue? Politics? The newest gossips in town? The new tips in finance? The meaning of life? Or simply, nothing? I know that life is already tiring as it is.

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A Series of What Ifs

It is almost 2 months from the last time I wrote here. I’m glad and sometimes wonder if you’re still visiting this blog. Either by random Google search or through the link somewhere on the internet. Nonetheless, I always hope my writings can help you find something interesting, or maybe satisfy your curiosity on something.

A few months ago, I finished watching Netflix’s 13 Reasons Why with my sister. A series based on Jay Asher’s novel with the same title, telling the story of why a high school student named Hannah Baker killed herself. Hannah recorded her own voice through tapes, detailing every single person, including herself, who is responsible for her suicide. The series has been received a lot of criticism toward its depressing tones and mental health concern, but I bear myself to watch it until the end. Though I don’t recommend you to watch the 2nd season because its disappointing storyline, the series has been a topic of discussion for myself.

I realized that as a human, our existence has always links to each other. We might not realize that our tiny bit of action can matter a lot to others or result in almost nothing. Our simple comment can hurt someone, or maybe don’t even worth to remember for others. The complexity of human action and its impact can be a matter of life for someone else. In the series, there is a moment where some of Hannah’s friends contemplated whether they have given enough attention or care to Hannah. If they had been done something different, would Hannah still be alive? Asking ‘what if’ is always an easy way out.

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It’s Easy

It is easy to count numbers or heads.
It is easy to say pity or condolences.
Cursing hates and acting strong.
But how can you measure sadness and loss? How do you count the suffering of loneliness?

For the innocence and the brave ones, you will surely be missed.

Hari Ini, Di Sana

Tanggal 21 April kemarin, seperti biasanya, masyarakat Indonesia merayakan Hari Kartini. Waktu kecil dulu, saya terbiasa merayakan hari tersebut dengan memakai baju daerah, kemudian berubah menjadi kebaya atau rok semasa kuliah dan bekerja. Di tahun-tahun tersebut, saya merasa tidak memaknai Hari Kartini yang sesungguhnya karena saya pikir, hari tersebut hanya gimmick belaka. Sama seperti hari simbolis lainnya, hari tersebut dijadikan beberapa toko (termasuk toko saya) untuk meraup keuntungan lewat iming-iming diskon. Saya juga tidak pernah (dan belum tertarik) membaca buku Habis Gelap, Terbitlah Terang selama ini. Tapi, selalu ada yang menggelitik di setiap tahunnya. Hari Kartini tidak pernah luput dari perdebatan.

Kenapa Kartini?

Pertanyaan tersebut selalu ada setiap tahunnya. Selalu dibahas dengan cara yang berbeda, tapi intinya selalu sama: “Apa yang membuat Kartini mendapat hari tersendiri di kalender dengan segala privilege yang dimilikinya?“. Kartini tidak mengangkat senjata. Kartini lahir di keluarga berada. Kartini hanya menulis surat. Sementara itu, beberapa orang akan membela Kartini dan mengatakan bahwa di usianya yang sangat muda dan budaya Jawa yang sangat ketat, pemikiran Kartini sangat maju pada zamannya. Jika dilihat lebih dekat, tidak ada yang benar-benar salah.

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The Lines We Make

I have other writings to finish and other priorities to-do, but I decided to sit down and write this.

My friends have sent me links since morning, about the Inter Korean Summit that is still happening today as I write this. The CNN reported that Kim Jong-Un has been the first leader of North Korea who crossed the demarcation line of North Korea and South Korean at the DMZ. As I watched the 5 minutes clips, I don’t know what triggered me, but I cried for a mere 10 minutes or so.

I have the privilege to visit the DMZ couple years ago. When I look back, I only remembered that I wanted to visit it, because it is interesting. But when I actually visited the place, it was more heart wrenching rather than exciting.

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