If I were asked what thing that makes me still writing blog posts in the era of video diary, photo sharing, and instant status, maybe the answer is I want to document life in the way I know best. I want to see how I grow up, what are the most important things that make me want to present here.
5 years ago I was busy telling myself that money isn’t the most important thing in my job. Here I am, a few years later struggling to find one. But as the years go by, I kept a habit of re-reading all my words in a certain time period. I finally find a pattern of how my brain and feelings work. I understand why such things matter in its own timeline.
Last night I wrote how I feel about the yesterday’s demonstration. How I act not to care but still talking about it on chat rooms. How I feel bitter and sad at the same time. How I may really don’t care because I stop watching the news after 2 PM. How I missed a figure who knows the exact things to say in the right sentiment. How I want a religion to be understand in a different way. How I want people to be accepted in a different way. How I want the majority of people to act in a different way. How I wish politics are easier to understand by commoners. Then again, I might really not that care since what I wrote last night consists of only 25 messy words. Or maybe, it’s just another way of my brains and feelings telling me how I really care.
That kind of uncertainty and confusion are the reasons why I still writing here.