Skimming on 2010, for me I was tremendously devastated. This year was the darkest time on my whole life. The worst even. A black hole that consuming your whole soul. Good byes are hard, tough as steel. It cuts, making bath blood on ground. But people just have to walk on, continue to live afterwards. So, I live.
It is weird when you have to experience the highest and the lowest point of your life in one packed of a year. On the first couple of months of 2010, I was the king. I got children, friends, best friend, everything. I even consider myself as the wealthiest person alive, having all the joy in the world, the only joy that matters.
Then I experienced first good bye, my friends were leaving, graduating. April 2010 was the first time, giving flower to people I do hope to laugh forever in daily basis. Now, I have to accept the fact that they’re making friends with somebody I don’t know, getting busy with paperwork and stuff. They got job, scholarship, living elsewhere. Sometimes when they miss me, they will put some status on their facebook or wrote on my wall or texted me or phoned me. But I know it will be hard to simply hugged them and tell them the jokes I used to make of.
On the same April, I waved another good bye. To all those good years, to my family that I’ve been proud of. Leaving all the laugh, smile, and jokes that still going on. I missed a lot of people there, who I believe still living the best of their (more to come) years ahead. I’ve been enjoying too much of becoming your parents, friends, and stuff. Then it all paid off, I was badly crying, hugging people one by one. Saying good bye becoming a Fungsionaris.
June was even harder. I said good bye to the bestest friend I’ve ever had. The most loving and caring person stepping on earth. We’ve been walking on rainbow for some years, but some things weren’t meant to be. Something that I don’t believe for all those years, it suddenly comes up all true. Things that complicated do exist, and I took a fall.
July is still hard. I failed to graduate on time, so I said good bye to many soul mates. To be honest, I cracked down though I try to write cards and put my biggest smile for them. Still, I handed some flowers and took pictures. Having friends is nice, knowing they’re leaving is sad.
On October, I was saying good bye to the greatest place I’ve ever been. The place that have given me so much lesson to learn on. The place that have nurtured me to grow up. I’ve missed the city, so much that I remember the smell of the ground after rain. How I walk across them and fall in love with the sunshine. The trees, the food, the humble weekdays, and the crowded weekend.
The two remaining months was hardest. Denying, confusing, accusation, depression, everything. It is like you put all the pain in the world, grinding it to become one pill. I swallowed it and trapped under spell. Though like I said, I had to continue to live.
Yet, tomorrow is always another day. I believe every people deserve happiness, even the wickest people alive. I found myself then, the end of 2010, unemployed, devastated, still with no dreams planned of 2011, brainless. The thing is I just want to be happy.
I just wrote several miserable paragraphs, but yeah, 2010 have gotten me some miracles. Some, which I wish will last.
2011 is coming fast, and I’m saying another good bye. To 2010.To the year which thought me all those great bad ass lessons and to find that in the end, I’m still that person—the wicked witch. I want to skip things, fast forwarding times. Truth is, I don’t have that remote control. Never have, never will. For that, I send good bye. May next year becomes a happier year than ever.
Cheers to the new year :)
