I Have a Question About Books

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Ever since I was little, I grew up with books. It’s something unavoidable, since my dad was a college lecturer. There are always tons of books everywhere. Most of the books are technical and lecture books, but I’ve been living under it. Read some and loathe some.

Legend says I’ve read books since I cannot read. My parents told me that I used to shout out the content of the entire book when I was 2 or 3. Doraemon is walking, Doraemon eats cake, Doraemon meets Nobita.

I used to think that it was a joke until my daughter started doing the same thing. She is reading the book to me (or to herself) by the age of 1.5 years. She just blurted out the entire book, using the who and what method that I used to do. Tayo is smiling, Tayo meets the passengers, Tayo goes home. It’s amazing to experience it myself.

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5 Seconds More

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Here we go again.
Complaining about the heat,
with an air conditioner on.
Talking non-sensically about the non-essentials.
Swallowing our privileges,
without realizing it.
Having confidence that we will be alive,
for 5 seconds more.

Tiny dots and flying dust.
Big dreams that once grow, ground explosions that burried it.
Are we really living under the same atmosphere?
Sharing the same stars?

This is what it felt to be alive.
Hurting and bleeding.
Until nothing was felt.

Fly little doves, may you be hugged in heavens.
Kissed by a thousand cloud.
Showered in stars.

23 November 2023

The Little Liar

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The little liar in her wants to say something sad. But nothing came out of her because she’s not sure she was feeling sad.

The little liar in her wants to sing a song about anger, rage, and fury. But she’s afraid that will hurt someone. Someday, she cannot undo the damage she’s caused.

The little liar in her wants to tell the truth for herself, but everything was confusing because of an uncomfortable feeling lingering in her head.

But lately, why did the little liar keep telling the truth and nothing but the truth?

If she were telling the truth, why has she been calling herself the little liar?

Belanja Terus, Sampai Kurus

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Berkunjung ke pusat perbelanjaan, beberapa hari sebelum lebaran.
Belum juga Ashar, tapi suasana seperti di pasar.
Semuanya ramai, sama seperti notifikasi di gawai.
Semua orang mentereng, banyak kantong belanjaan ditenteng.
Toko emas sibuk, pegawainya jadi kikuk.

Ada yang mengusik, tapi cuma bisa bisik-bisik. Ingin punya jiwa konsumtif, tapi takut jadi adiktif. Mau mencibir, tapi lebih baik takbir.

Toko-toko pasang spanduk diskon, bikin senyum kayak emotikon :) Menarik orang untuk masuk, berbondong-bondong kayak kena susuk. Baju masih banyak di lemari, tapi jangan sampai anak-anak gigit jari. Juga amplop-amplop THR, yang kadang bikin geger.

Beberapa tahun lalu pandemi, jadi tidak pada silaturahmi. Pekerjaan tidak ada, perasaan rada-rada. Gaji dirapel, tidak bisa kasih salam tempel. Sekarang ekonomi sedang sakti, walau harga beras tidak pasti.

Ayo belanja lagi, tapi jangan lupa tabungannya dibagi. Masih ada seminggu lagi, dari masuk kantor sampai dapet gaji.

See, I’m Just Missing Everybody Else

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There are a lot of things I want to say to you.
Like an endless bunch of baby stars born out of the nebula.
And an enormous byte of data which thrown into the space this very second.
But you’re miles across.
Sitting right there, as if we were so close.
Sending heart emoji that is barely there.

Oh, there you are.
You’re not here.
And I’m not there.

There are a lot of words I want to type right now.
Like a whole ocean ready to swallow everything else.
And endless rays of light burning up the ground.
But nothing came out like it was supposed to be.
Just a blurb of things, trying to line up.
Making burst of emotions, ready to explode.

There they are.
Lines, out of nowhere.
Me, trying to breathe.