Today was mine, and now it yours.

//July 20, 2009//

Juli 2008.
Satu tahun yang lalu.
I remember the day as clearly as crystal. Keceriaan, banyak tawa, dan sedikit banyak tangis haru. Saat itu, saya mencurahkan seluruh hidup saya untuk momen itu. Banyak yang bilang saya menyebalkan, banyak sekali masalah yang datang, banyak juga yang menyemangati but in the end, it’s all worth the diamond. Saya tersenyum lebar ketika hari itu selesai dan saya menyalami semua orang, mengucap terima kasih berulang-ulang.

Ijul. Bravo. Deja. Sella. Lukman. Hardi. Laras. Aban. Aftah. Feni. Surya. Koyim. Farhan. Koordinator-koordinator yang luar biasa. Juga teman-teman luar biasa yang terus menyemangati. Insan. Hafidh. Yudhi. Mangasi.
Saya menangis di syukwis ketika melihat credit title di akhir penayangan Video Dokumentasi. Orang bilang saya aneh karena tangis itu, tapi saya justru merasa aneh kalau saya tidak menangis saat itu.

Karena semua orang yang ada di sana, telah membantu saya untuk mendapatkan sebuah memori yang mungkin sampai bertahun-tahun nanti, akan terus saya ingat. Sometimes people just don’t recognize that the small thing they do is the greatest thing they are giving to other people’s life.

Juli 2009.
Setahun kemudian.
I wore a different shoes (almost as hard as the one you’re wearing), but the fun remains the same. The excitement still tremble my body and my heart just moved faster that day. Saya kembali merasakan keceriaan itu, melihat wajah-wajah yang walaupun panik penuh peluh, keringat dan juga kerutan-kerutan di dahi tapi juga penuh tawa. Melihat kalian semua, membuat saya bersemangat dan membuat saya merasa bersalah kalau saya sampai mengeluh dan tidak ikut tertawa bersama kalian. Saya tahu, bahwa saya tidak ingin perasaan ini dimiliki oleh sembarang orang, dan saya bersyukur kita semua tidak salah memilih. I cry again, because one year later, maybe you will wear my shoes and feel the same feeling as I do right now.

Noy, gile.. You’ve done great so far. Tapi masih ada besok. Jadi jangan senang dulu. Haha! Makanya, jadikan besok itu hari terbaik dan terindah yang kita punya. Jangan lupa kata-kata gue, ya. Wisuda Juli adalah wisuda bersenang-senang. Jadi besok, go have some fun :)
23:28:19. July 17, 2009.

You do have some fun, do you?

 

Even if the world said STOP and giving you the word ENOUGH, I will tell you to Run

//July 09, 2009//

People said much about suffering. And the way that they wouldn’t want anyone they love to be suffered. Yeah, well. Pretty much everyone I know said that. How they doesn’t want to see his girlfriend suffer from a long walk, a heavy burden, or simply a responsibility. So, what is it all about? And what do you know about suffering?

If you suffered then you’re not getting your happiness. If you love someone, then you must not see him/her suffer. Is that some kind of a right thing to do or just an egoist thing to do? Then again, God never give us a test, more than we can accept it. Pretty much hanging to it, I believe that suffering doesn’t always end up in pain, or nightmares. Sometimes, it will end up with happiness. You just have to bring that much more in your thought. If you just don’t want to see your loved one suffered, who knows that him/her just missing some greatest lesson in his/her life? Who knows that kind of suffering will bring you much more happiness than you already have? You just don’t know and how dare you talking about happiness if you’re not at least try it and finish it till the end.

Then again, No Sacrifice, No Victory. How much people believe in the phrase these days? Life is hard, people. You just don’t sit around and make others happy. Even Donald Trump struggle to gain his spot right now. So, believe me, dear. Even if the world said ‘Stop’ and giving you the word enough, I will tell you to ‘Run’. I know you’ll suffer a lot more. But believe me, I’ll stay. This is path that one should go and there’s no turning back. This is the path that someday, maybe, the loveliest path you have walked on. You just never know, until you get to the end of the path. And until that time, let me accompany you. Let’s laugh at the end, together.

Foreground. Background.

//July 08, 2009//

 

Friend said “Back me up”. Soldier said “Back me up”. But, who’s backing up the “back up”?

 

I don’t like being on the spotlight, I would never have the talent for it. That’s why I always stand behind the stage. I choose it, and I don’t regret it. I love where I’m standing at. Helping people to stand on spotlight, hanging my life for them. I don’t know, it’s nature.

But, I don’t know if people really understand the word ‘back-up’. If people said “Back Me Up”, I’ll do it. If people said “Back Him Up”, I’ll do it. If people said “Back her up”, I’ll do it. Then again, nobody stand to back me up. It’s kinda pathetic, it feels lonely. Yeah, I know I’m not the kindest, the funniest, the loveliest, etc. Yeah, it just sad, sometimes.

Tired? Maybe. But I don’t give a damn. Tomorrow is another day. It’s just too precious to waste it by complaining. I’ll back you all up, even when you always said bad things about me, or not like me, or not back me up, I don’t care. It’s nature, then again.

Cheers :)