I bumped into a friend, couple weeks ago. We didn’t say any hello, we didn’t talk. In an event with hundreds of people attending, it is likely to happen since we don’t really that close. I didn’t know his story, until I really met him that day. I’ve heard rumors and finally I knew what likely happened at an after-party later that night. I didn’t respond much after hearing that, but I thought about it a lot. Days after days. I’m kind of sad and blaming myself to not greet him personally. I’m disappointed by myself that something was holding me for saying hello. I’m mad that I’m becoming a person I hate that night. A person that afraid of differences.

The world has becoming a place with too many differences right now. Some crazy things that we cannot imagined happens. Maybe I will be forever opposed some of it, or I will never support it at all. But I can still accept it. I want to accept you.

 I just want to give love.

It is easy to live alone, and be enough for yourself, enough for your little family, enough for your circle of trust. But there is nothing as too much love, since God pours a lot into the world. There won’t be enough love to give. I cried tonight, for love that I cannot share that night. I don’t know whether we would meet again in the future, but I want to tell you that I cannot be more proud of you. It must have been hard, for you, for anyone. I know for sure, that you won’t tell me those story personally. But I want to still love you for who you are, for whatever things you’ll become.

Tonight, my prayer goes to you. For every plan you’ll have after this. May all the sunbeams and moonbeams shine upon your path. There is always be place for you, the one which is caring and loving. You’ll share it someday, you’ll find one someday. A state when your love won’t be enough for yourself. It is true that we don’t need another mountain. It is true that what the world needs now, is love. Love is always kind.

We don’t need another mountain
There are mountains and hillsides enough to climb
There are oceans and rivers enough to cross
Enough to last until the end of time

What the world needs now is love, sweet love
It’s the only thing that there’s just too little of
What the world needs now is love, sweet love
No, not just for some but for everyone

It’s been a month since the massacre of Charlie Hebdo. Two gunmen attacked the French satire newspaper, killing 12 people. ‘Je suis Charlie’ and ‘Je suis Ahmed’ were trending. People sent their thoughts and prayers. The words ‘freedom of speech‘ and ‘respect each other‘ numerously spiked. The first edition of Charlie Hebdo after the incident raised another controversy. One question remains for me, how do people react on this kind of tragedy?

I don’t usually post thought on social media so fast about recent events. I’d rather be the last person to talk, at least I got the facts right and I build strong arguments/reasoning on how I want to direct my thoughts for similar cases in the future.

Charlie Hebdo is a satire newspaper. Satire has been a culture in French, usually used to criticize on politics, intends to bring awareness and sometimes, inspire. Would certain people in other country with certain culture accept the same black comedy as it is? Would they be offended and goes berserk? But the attacker is a French citizen, so I assumed either the joke is off limits or they really couldn’t see a humor as a humor. But then again, when you talk about freedom, there is no law saying it needs to be responsible. Freedom has no limits that is why it called freedom. Responsible freedom would be ideal freedom we all need. The world would become a really better place to live on if everyone has one. When Al Jazeera’s newsroom email leaked out, I got confused. I am all of them. Can I ask for respect while not judged to be called murderer? Can I defend freedom and still have faith to my religion?

This week another event came up involving Muslim community, The Chapel Hill. 3 Muslims shot dead by a lone gunman (the reason is still in investigation, whether it is a hate crime or just sudden anger). The word ‘double standard’ attacked the media. Once again, I feel really dumb by not really into the rage. I don’t really want to question anything. I don’t want to talk in ‘what if’. Turns out, all news outlet are now calling it breaking news. I just want to remind you that live matters, any lives matters. When people murdered in different circles around you, in different country, in different race, in different religion, I really hope you will still ‘that’ care. I really hope you give that kind of shout out into the world. Start asking, does ‘double standard’ also apply to yourself?

I don’t really care whether half the world or all of the world don’t agree with me. I’m not living to prove a point. I despise the killing and all kind of extremist on all level, whether it is about race, religion, community, etc. I strongly support the freedom of speech. But I want people to respect each other in some kind of phase that they are accepting differences as it is and sometimes, accepting unfairness. When other insults you in such a bad way, don’t insult them back. Prove them wrong, if you should. But share that kind of spirit to yourself. When you’re done proving them wrong, don’t insult them back, don’t rub them in the face. Just live, let them be, go on with your life. Having revenge is never do any good.

Nobody deserves to die, because death is endgame. I still want to believe people. I still want to believe that people have something that will change them in certain point. I don’t want to be an extremist. I really don’t, it’s frustrating, and it involves a lot of hate. I’m done being hater. We don’t need hate anymore. Can all people just be a good lover? The one that will toss kindness like a confetti.