Since I was little, I always thought going abroad is the greatest dream that I want to achieve. The clean air, the modern railway, the green mountain, the fabulous museums and old book shops. As I grew up, I’ve seen people going abroad, an exchange program, a broke travel trip, or even a wealthy vacation. Then I’ve lost interest of the whole idea.

I mean, what’s so special about going abroad? Is it just about the picture you took, with the famous landmark or some random foreigner? Is it about the happiness you feel inside when you tweet “Touchdown Europe”? Is it about the talk you’ll get when people talk about you, the pride? Is it about the people you shake hand with? Or is it about the achievement you need for being one step ahead from everybody?

The thing is, I still envy Europe for being adorable, Japan for being admirable, New York for being sophisticated, or even Russia for being exotic. But there’s a thing that I’ve lost anyway.

What’s so special of going abroad?

When people told me that they’re going shopping in their vacation in London, or walking slowly in Thailand, I don’t envy it anymore. Is it me going older?

Then again, it is just a matter of choices and several reasons to live abroad. It is another story to stay at the heated Indonesia with dumb government who don’t give a damn about some email account. As for me, the choices consider a question, “which one really need me?” instead of how big the temptation and the chances is. I guess the achievement doesn’t really excite me anymore. But maybe we’ll see.

PS: My beloved friend, Rizki Narindra just got accepted for a scholarship in Milan. He will get his Master degree majoring in Energy Environmental Management and Economics. The thing is I proud of him just because he got the scholarship, not because he is going to go across ocean and landed in Italy. Oh, that’s just an additional item.

They said, the modern working days and needs have changed the way everything works out. The term ‘working hard’ has evolves to ‘working smart’.

Oh, working hard is just decades away.

But, I am the kid of the 90s and I consider myself a little old fashioned for certain things. And yeah, all my favorite songs come from the year 1990s. So, I don’t mind to work hard. It’s the only thing I can do best for the whole 23 years of my life. Besides, smart is never going to be by surname anyway.

While being happy is easier to achieve, being satisfied is rather a classified issue. But I do believe satisfaction is a shortcut to find real happiness.

acceptance.

I have fallen deeper to become a self hated person lately. You know, the time when you feel inferior to other people, the dark force. I thought everybody is way better, way smarter and luckier than me, and I am the only one who will be left behind. In many case, yes, they do. But I know I must have something that other people don’t have. To be honest, I realized that is not the time we should compare ourselves with others anymore. We’re not learning on the same book anymore. The world success in my dictionary should be different with yours, because our path to the future has different route. We should be proud about what we believe in and any path we chose to be walk on.

This is more likely to resemble mine by the way :P (via workisnotajob)

I have friend continuing their study, dreaming to become a lecturer. They don’t care whether their classmate already making millions of money and grabbing the latest gadget, while they’re getting bored with Plaza Widya and still stuck in campus laboratory. Going back and forth to find scholarship, to fill the gap because higher study means higher funds.

I have friend bearing the title unemployed for almost a year, waiting to have the right career. Getting annoyed with people assumption and question about what they have been doing all this time, getting bored with rejection.

I have friend, who just got married. They graduated and became a housewife. Taking care of the house and preparing breakfast and dinner. Getting the same routine each and every day. Meeting the same people and doesn’t get socialized very much.

The thing is, all of them are proud to wear the shirt.

I should have to. And for all the good and bad in life, I should thank You.

PS: The newest episode of Glee (Born This Way, 2×18) somehow has brought back the old forgotten lesson. No, it’s not just about visual appearance (I mean, nose, four eyes, can’t sing, can’t dance, no weave, ough I just have all of that and it doesn’t matter that much :P). It is also the way you treat yourself for the rest of the life.

We should wave to April and say welcome to May. Here’s your son. Celebrating the joy, and remembering the sorrow of life. Taking chances, and racing against time. May this May be blessed.

Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering.

(By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept – Paulo Coelho)

To find one and fulfilled the journey isn’t one of the easiest. It is rather hard and sometimes annoying. But in case you find it, don’t ever think to let it go.

PS: And this week, we really say goodbye to Casey Abrams. Yeah, the most talented one is never going to win anyway.