She is

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…like you.
She is like a ticking bomb. Ready to explode.
She is like a ticking bomb. Her days numbered, but some other time become countless.
She is like a ticking bomb. Launched in a loose cannon.
She is like a ticking bomb. Colorful yet dreadful.
A split second then it’s all be white, red, and then turn black. Or grey.
She is like a ticking bomb. Wanted to be found.
Eventually, nobody would find her. Yet everyone race to discover her.
She is like a ticking bomb. Wanted to be detonated.

Yet, doesn’t find someone that deserve the honor.

Fairy Tales

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All fairy tales is not a lie. They exist. Sometimes in real life, if you got lucky (maybe). Fairy tales doesn’t always ends with happily ever after. Odette and the Prince in The Swan Lake died, Karen the girl with red shoes got amputated. In fact, fairy tales are real life written in rhymes, in satire way.

It is easy to fall in love with fairy tales. I mean, who wouldn’t want it? Roses, kisses, and ride to the sunset were perfectly unbeatable, the solution of every crisis. Who wouldn’t wish for a carpet ride around the world or a kiss of a life time? Whether we realize it or not, those fairy tales molds us to the person we are today. We tend to believe that it is the happiest way of living.

In real life, thing is rather messy. There is thing we know as reason and logic (and pain). I understand the power of feeling, and chemistry, and all words in Love Dictionary – Classic edition. I know, I live with it also. I, myself, is feeling worshipper. I don’t want to complicate thing as simple as feeling. It is the only good thing we have in this miserable world. But sometimes for a certain reason, my conscious mind reacts to the every action I did. I became rational when it comes to decision. Because it is lethal, sometimes you can’t go back past time and undo actions.

I will turn 25 this year, a quarter of decade years old. Young I must be from any other, and older I must be for the rest of it. I’ve got to separate what is fun and what is important. What is now and what is tomorrow. It is inevitable. The reality bites is, it is too late for playing along and going where wind takes.

Maybe some of us are still living in fairy tales, walking in a land far far away. Not knowing about the existence of poisoned apple. I do not judge, it is a choice for waking up. I, for instance, refuse to grow up. I believe Neverland exist, people can fly, and there are boys who would never grow old. But that doesn’t mean I’m not dealing with consequences of my choices.

Living the reality is not about stopping to have fun. It is about understanding the mechanism of life, about knowing how the gear works. Finding pieces to complete puzzle of life. The puzzle itself is a fun game to solve. To find what we are, to find reason, to find what we will become is a scary thing to start, and it will never be an easy process.

Feelings changed, memories faded, heart went away. There is pain, and there is the stiches. We hurt, and we get hurt. We feel desperation, we give sorrow. But we’ve got to waltz this dance anyway. Fairy tales are sweet and somewhat romantic, but what is now, is what we really have to deal with. Give up the fairy tales  thought I’d say. Please, start living.

PS: My favorite classical tales from Disney is (obviously) Aladdin. The answer for the why question is easy. Since earlier age, I choose to be a warrior.

Credits for the original screencaps goes to here.

On Fuel Price Hike

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Do you ever think why Jakarta got jammed every day? Got counts on the number of personal vehicle dancing towards town? Or do you already lost count, like mine? For people already experiencing Jakarta for years, it is a need to own a personal vehicle because the public transportation that supposed to help us doesn’t give any hope. The high number of criminalities and the heat got the most of it, I do realize that having a personal vehicle to facilitate your activities would make the travel more convenience. You don’t have to deal with the insanity of angkot driver who will do, basically, anything to achieve his wants. Stop his vehicle everywhere he wants, or driving like there is no tomorrow. You don’t have to deal with the impossible queue at TransJakarta or what sorcery that made people who stand behind us already got the bus ahead.

The vast growing technology supposed to help us to have a better life, but along the way, got mixed up with consumerism. The price of having a personal vehicle increased each and every day, yet the demand got higher. The city planner/developer/government (or whoever I don’t know) see the chances even clearer. They support this act by building more highways. Hiding behind the reason ‘the solution to traffic is to build more roads’, they gave more tangled problems by encouraging people to buy more vehicle. The result? Look around for yourself.

By April 1, 2012 Indonesian government planned to raise the price of petrol fuel prices. Thus they said that subsidiary of fuel prices will be diverted to build more infrastructure and fund the education/health projects. Or so they said. The demonstration to prevent the act risen up. In fact, the debate and pro-cons have been happen all month. One of the infamous debates took place on Metro TV. Some might say, it just political matters. Some say, it is time to bring down the president that he doesn’t take side with the citizen anymore.

In my opinion, I support the raise of petrol fuel prices. The mean fact is, if you can’t afford it, just don’t buy it. Many personal vehicle use subsidized fuel to accommodate their fuel needs, while subsidized fuel basically aimed for low income communities. But it is a core problem also to provide fuel with different prices (subsidized and non-subsidized) in same place without running any authority. Indonesia is the country where chances are being dug and slipped. It is just a common instinct to buy cheaper stuff where no one telling us the rule. Admit it, Indonesia is not ready to be a country to run by such morale and awareness. (For more interesting information, you can read the timeline of @MuhammadAssad and @gm_gm with hashtag #BBM)

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late night radio broadcast #2

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late night radio broadcast #1

This is still a late-night radio broadcast.
It’s still past midnight, and we’re still here to make you feel better.

How do you describe pain, one of you had asked through our inbox.
Oh, this is a funny one.

Pain is the ultimate proof that we are alive.
It is hard to see one suffer, especially in a traumatic one.
I’m not sure if pain can be shared.
It won’t be, in every single way.
It can be ease in such a hard way, but I don’t think it can be shared.
It is a journey and a battle against time and mind, that one should pass.

To hate is such a terrible act of parting, such a terrible way of beating the pain.
This is such a pity, to leave everyone brokenhearted.
I once experienced it, you might too.
And probably someone over the roof miles away from us too.
That is why we’re here, on the same wavelength.
Crying the same song we’ve known so long.

So, here’s one for you.
This is the first song and after this, we’ll be calling someone.
You might know him and all of his belongs.
He feels the pain, more or the same with us.

It might be you, so don’t put your phone on hold.

We caused so much agony.
We can’t seem to move ahead.
This is such a pity.
We should give all our love to each other.
Not this hate that destroys us.
This is such a pity.