I wrote many times that I don’t have extra energy to keep on creating something at the end of last year. But this one is an anomaly. I finished it in hours and already satisfied with only one colorway.
It was a rainy night and I suddenly stuck with an idea. It’s not an entirely new idea, but more of the thoughts that bother me every day. It’s more like an inability to make changes. It’s funny that I made a person as an object. To be honest, it’s more like, you and me.
I want to pack 3 shirts and a sweater. 5 instant noodles and a pouch of skincare in traveling size.
I want to have an empty water bottle and couple of socks.
Maybe an extra pair of pants and umbrella (because the weather has been unpredictable lately).
I want to pack and go.
Somewhere alone, without music and the notifications.
I don’t know if I will still be hurt, because it’s complete darkness no matter where I look.
It’s like running away (and I don’t care).
The same thing like how much I eat these past days (and still feel nothing) or how deft I am with all these noises.
Every day is like a constant battle. With myself. With the surrounding and the noises.
I really want to pack and go.
Somewhere alone, without the sadness and the pain.
Pardon me because sometimes, I cannot stop making a list of things that inspired me :)) I wanted to share a lot of things, but I somehow always forget to include a lot of things. I used to keep something that I treasured for myself only. Because the thought of someone else like the same things I do, making me less cool. But that’s the selfish and younger version of me speaking. Now, I think that pretty things should be shared with a lot of people so the maker can get the appreciation they deserve.
I stumbled upon Ayu Melati’s account last year. Ayu made a beautiful jewelry reserved for fairies. Every month, Ayu buys some gems to be made into rings and necklaces. The simple design of Ayu’s jewelry gives a dreamy and adorable vibe you’ll only find in fairy tales. I always want to order it but somehow always missed the Pre Order.
(image from here)
To be completely honest, this pattern doesn’t come naturally to me. We were looking for the right pattern to make Bag/Tote Collection and I’ve been obsessed to find a way to translate food into a pattern. Thus, we chose ‘Kue Subuh’ as a theme. It would have been easy if we’re trying to only make food pattern, since all we need to do is translating real food into illustration. So, I try to find a way to breathe more life into it.
The initial inspiration for the pattern
It suddenly feels normal to experience loneliness, which then I prefer it more. The cold room and the bitterness of life. Mixing it up and never letting go.
I don’t know how to dismantle the emptiness. The heavy atmosphere that surrounds me in a veil. My inability to do more, my throat that goes dry every time I try to speak.
These things, that suffocated you.
Will it ever go away?
