This year, I celebrated Eid in confusion. I bet many of you felt the same. In times when economic and political tension was at stake, I was forced to feel joy. Unable to breathe, I need to meet people with smiley faces. Despite all the warm feelings inside of me, I also feel rage and despair. I didn’t know how to react; I didn’t have the time to process all those feelings. So, I bundled it up. Keeping it aside for a while.
I don’t know about you, but I feel guilty to be able to have spare money to buy new books. To be able to cook meat and other proteins. I feel guilt because I was able to enjoy comfort while others lost their income due to the unstable economy.
The laws are bent, the policymakers are held hostage, and the government is silent. They said everything is alright. The sun is shining like it is supposed to be.
In other lands, the Palestinians lost their home, their organs, and their loved ones. What could I do in order to stop all the atrocity and the injustice? I keep asking the same question and pray for an answer. Until now, I’ve never found one.
What I can do is get up every day. Doing my best, juggling things, and writing some useless lines of words. Hoping that someday, it will light up someone else’s lines of words. Maybe yours.
May we always have hope and help each other.