These will sum up all things happen these days.

My sisters are leaving the town. One goes to Bandung, going to college (I’m kind of proud because I handpicked the faculty myself, as I handpicked her name myself :D). The other one is going overseas, taking a Master degree. This left me, speechless for time to time. Laugh and conversation are getting limited. It is kind of sad.

I did cry and clap my hand at The Dark Knight Rises (2012) end credit. It was dark, has a lot of deep conversation, and it just a kind of movie you would like to discuss over and over again (though speechless is probably the easiest thing you’d do). Not just because the cinematography or Michael Caine’s flawless acting as Alfred, but as a monumental movie that sets such standard for other superhero movie and as a portrait of society nowadays.

I remember the last film that made me cried (for freaking 3 times in a row) was Hugo (2011). Directed by Martin Scorsese, who himself has find a way to capture dreams in celluloid. Hugo is an adaptation of a novel titled The Invention of Hugo Cabret (2007) by Brian Selznick. It is a non sense thing by the way, to exactly hearing the exact words I have been repeating in my head for years. It’s like a mantra for me, I even can’t believe it.

“Everything has a purpose, even machines. Clocks tell the time, trains take you places. They do what they’re meant to do, like Monsieur Labisse. Maybe that’s why broken machines make me so sad, they can’t do what they’re meant to do. Maybe it’s the same with people. If you lose your purpose, it’s like you’re broken.”

“Right after my father died, I would come up here a lot. I’d imagine the whole world was one big machine. Machines never come with any extra parts, you know. They always come with the exact amount they need. So I figured if the entire world was one big machine, I couldn’t be an extra part. I had to be here for some reason. And that means you have to be here for some reason too.”

Friends will be leaving. Chairs will be left empty. I know goodbye is as great as hello but I didn’t think it would be so hard. People are destined to meet, and part, and then it repeats. People are people; they live the journey they’ve made for themselves. I know this would be for better and exciting future you would tell me in our little reunion years later, but it still feels a little sad.

As another grief comes, other good news comes. Having smile always feels amazing, but making one is another different league :)

Hari Jumat lalu saya terlambat pulang ke rumah sehingga terpaksa mendengarkan adzan Maghrib di jalan. Macet Jakarta memang sudah terduga, tapi saya memang tidak menduga separah itu. Karena lupa pergi ke ATM, saya cuma punya beberapa receh di saku untuk membayar ongkos angkutan umum saya. Sehingga akhirnya saya tidak bisa segera membatalkan puasa saya. Sempat terbersit rasa kesal, entah kepada macet, peluh, atau kepada apa, sayapun juga bingung.

Anehnya sekejap semua sirna karena alasan sederhana: Senyum.

Langit berubah keemasan waktu itu, membungkus isi dunia entah dengan gemerlap apa. Angkutan umum yang saya naiki melaju pelan. Saya duduk di dekat pintu, menyaksikan sebuah rangkaian adegan tentang hidup. Merasa kecil di depan keajaiban yang maha besar.

Di pinggiran jalan, sekelompok orang berbuka puasa, bertiga, berlima, sendirian. Menegak air pertamanya, membeli gorengan pertamanya, menerima rizki yang entah untuk kesekian kalinya di hari itu. Bagai adegan film yang diperlambat, semua orang tersenyum dengan caranya masing-masing. Wajah-wajah cerah yang penuh kebahagiaan, tertumpah di sepanjang jalan. Saya mungkin tidak akan pernah mengenal mereka, atau tahu latar belakang hidup mereka, mungkin saya tidak seberuntung mereka, atau mereka tidak seberuntung saya. Tapi, semudah itu membuat membuat kebahagiaan tersebar. Mensyukuri semua nikmat yang telah diberikan, membuang semua keburukan yang pernah ada. Sesepele itu cinta tersebar.

Saya, tersenyum di sepanjang sisa perjalanan saya :)

Alhamdulillah.