I think this is the longest time I stop writing here (or maybe not). Life has been running faster and sometimes, I don’t exactly sure how I got here. It is weird that God suddenly opens a lot of doors in the same time and I was slapped by the fact that He does love me and I think I don’t love Him back as equal. It is sad and pitiful. But I don’t want to stop being a better person.
On Learning
A few things that happened this past month includes the fact that I got a Skillshare scholarship, haha. It’s rather easy actually to sign up for the program and wait for them to approve your application. Then, I got a year worth of Premium classes for free~ The fact that I finally learn to use InDesign to make a Pattern Catalog, is another proof that the sky is the limit and nobody should stop me now :))
On Others
I lost interest in other people’s life. I don’t really sure if it’s a good thing or a bad thing. Every time I open my social account and find this person goes on a vacation, this person gets a scholarship abroad, this person is hanging out in the coolest gig/place, this person is going to get married next week, etc, etc. It doesn’t excite me anymore. It becomes another boring endless scroll and I wonder why it happened? Maybe I really think what they’re doing is just a repetition and a boring routine. Or maybe, I finally figured out that my life should be the most exciting one :3
On Short Notes
My closest friends knew already that I always bring a small notes everywhere I go. I wrote a lot of bit sized pieces this past month. I don’t really remember why or when I wrote them, but it happened anyway. I will be writing it down here for the next couple of days since there are a lot of pieces that reflect how I see the world at ‘this time’. I think it is important to make a reminder about what you feel ‘right now’. Maybe you won’t feel the same way next week, or it will be different perspective by another month. So, I don’t want to miss myself and the thought process between those feelings.
On Kids
I always dream to become a children book writer. When I started Kawung Living, I’ve never intended the products to be child focused as much as right now. I didn’t intend the color to be so child-like, I didn’t intend the design to be like this, and I still don’t intend it to be seen as a Kids brand. Maybe it’s because I always try to think like a kid. Maybe it’s because I still want to be a kid so bad. Or maybe it’s because I realized that if I can make a child smile for once, then this world can actually be a better place. God is gracious, He showed me a way to achieve things in a path that I never think of. I shed tears tonight for all the love that showered me and I promise to pour all these love back to the universe. Because I believe, that I will never run out of love.
On Routine
September marks the 6th month of me getting jobless. The fact that I become too selective to apply for a job and the fact that I actually enjoying things much more than I should do scared me. I love doing me, what I become, and what I do right now. But I start to think, should I be getting comfort with all of this? I’m young, I can do anything. If I can do two jobs and still spare some time to do anything else, I’ll do it. Why wasting time if I can do more? Why bother finding comfort place or a job you enjoy? I never get why people ask you to work smart while you can work smart while working hard.
On another perspective, there are some times that really bug me when I explain to people what I do now. They always think that my life is rather easy, because I could do nothing everyday. Well in fact, it’s the other way around. When I still get my monthly salary, there were days when I slacked off and took some time off getting lazy on the office. I thought, I’m going to get paid anyway at the end of the month. Nowadays, I feel guilty if I’m doing nothing. Becoming a freelancer or maybe an entrepreneur, force you to earn it every single hours. I don’t do 8 hours per day anymore, my working hours is the time I woke up until the time I sleep off. I don’t even watch any TV series anymore (oh, except for Stranger Things :P). What I do today may impact my life for next week, or next month. I wonder why there is so much work to do now than before and there is nothing easy about it.
But if I need to point one single thing that I enjoy more than anything else. I proudly say that I live the dream.
I get to work in my sweater and pajamas.
Achievement unlocked :’)