For the first time in my life,
I don’t have anything written on my to-do list.
Because I realized,
I don’t really know what would happen tomorrow.
More than any time,
this is highlighting that I really cannot have control of anything.
Sometimes my heart races,
really scared about what comes next.
Sometimes I panic,
because I cannot promise anything.
It seems that I missed out a lot of things,
but this is me trying hard not to miss something else.
I need time to process it and grasp it bit by bit,
but time won’t wait for me.
And here I am,
trying to breath deeper.
Calming myself,
by songs I cannot hear.
Beating down by the sound of the racing heart.