Growing up in this era, sometimes made me confused which values I should hold onto more. My circle of friends is getting older in terms of age. They should be in the late 20s or starting their 30s. Some of them gained a new circle and become a clique. Some stays, convince themselves that they stay in the loop by saying hello in the chat room every two weeks, or a month. It’s a surprise that a friend just hops from another company to another, some started their own YouTube channels, some just stop running and trying to settle with their routine.
The trend always comes and goes. There was a time when travelling becomes a thing (or always a thing), then coffee tasting (or cafe hopping), then marriage preparation and parenting method seminar (which make the singles become so sick of hearing it), and then financial awareness (suddenly everyone is about to invest, in something they don’t understand but trying so hard to understand). Is it really a trend or is it just a phase of growing up?
I sometimes wonder what they talk at home. When the TV is turned off and the light dimmed down. With their spouses or with themselves, within the walls between their beds. Family-related issue? Politics? The newest gossips in town? The new tips in finance? The meaning of life? Or simply, nothing? I know that life is already tiring as it is.
A few weeks ago I bought a set of flag to commemorate The Independence Day. I think that’s kind of significance how we still at least (try to) care about The Independence Day. I haggled badly for a pole and a flag, which cost IDR 70.000 in total. Some considered it too expensive, but in comparison, I did not haggle for an IDR 115.000 caramel cake and a cup of coffee at the fancy cafe I tasted at a meeting the day before. The flag seller seems to need money more than the cafe owner. Is it because there’s a price on the cafe menu and there is not a standard price for a flag and a pole? People spend a lot of money for an ounce of sea salt, but they’re angry for ‘overpriced’ vegetables on the traditional market. It confused me. What am I right now? What kind of person I’m trying to be?
Nowadays, people put a label on themselves. She’s a mom of two. She’s an adventure taker or a book enthusiast. She’s a 9-5 worker or a startup founder. Everyone needs a proof of their existence. Sometimes I wonder what would I be? Merely a human being with an inconsistent life plan and a lot of fear. Maybe a lot of them feel a lot like me, so they put a label to remind them who they are or to motivate themselves to do better. Of course, I’m being sarcastic here. But I really want to start believing people on the internet.
I always think the confusion is a good thing. It gets you into a conversation with yourself. You get a lot of questions to answer and a lot of room for discussion (if you’re curious enough to seek an answer). Whatever your choice will be, it gives you a sense of awareness of something. And that’s what gets the ball running.
So here I am, asking you while trying to answer the question for myself: What are you right now? What kind of person you’re trying to be?