I Don’t Really Want to Know How Your Garden Grows

December 16, 2014 by Prisanti Leave a comment

Sometimes, people talk to me about their problems. Relationship, hardship, whining, or simply problems. My horoscope, blood type, or even my zodiac tell me that I am a good listener (who doesn’t?). So, in order to live up to that expectation, I started to understand how that works. Couple of times, I let my emotion get into the actual talks. I lecture people with my own thoughts. Sure I’m not the best person to go when you need an advice. Because my life is pretty simple. I don’t think complicated is suited to anything in this world. Even complicated problems sometimes have simple answer. Because I think there ‘s nothing more complicated than how you’re still alive today. So adding more complexion would just be a waste on this beautiful world.

I don’t really know how it works with any other people, but when they stressed out enough and start to talk to me, I get stressed out too. When they are crying and feeling lonely, suddenly I feel like one too. Unfortunately, you always need to be the bigger person when you are in the listener position. On that kind of situation, empathy is really a dangerous weapon that you should use carefully.

But afterall if I were sane enough, I just listen. Because sometimes all they want to get, is to be heard.

You know, the common problem people nowadays have are how they see each other as a competitor, in a bad way. They don’t see each other as a ladder to achieve higher ground. They despise anyone who has more spotlight. Does attention really matter that much? But then again, in the world of Likes and Re-Tweet/Blog/Gram/Path, sure attention is something people wanted to have. Maybe, all they wanted is the same thing afterall, they just wanted to be heard.

On that kind of times, I always believe there is an Oasis song for every problem. Most of the times, the simple answer to that problem is a song called Live Forever. I think every people should have someone they’re singing this song to. People to live forever. Because really, sometimes all you need to know is not how other’s garden grows.

Maybe I don’t really want to know
How your garden grows
I just want to fly
Lately did you ever feel the pain
In the morning rain
As it soaks it to the bone

Maybe I just want to fly
I want to live I don’t want to die
Maybe I just want to breath
Maybe I just don’t believe
Maybe you’re the same as me
We see things they’ll never see
You and I are gonna live forever

The song Live Forever is written by Noel Gallagher in the middle of Grunge era, with Nirvana having a tune that said ‘I Hate Myself and Want to Die’. He and I have a same point afterall.

“Seems to me that here was a guy who had everything, and was miserable about it. And we had fuck-all, and I still thought that getting up in the morning was the greatest fuckin’ thing ever, ’cause you didn’t know where you’d end up at night. And we didn’t have a pot to piss in, but it was fucking great, man.”

Your Sunday Read

November 30, 2014 by Prisanti Leave a comment

I’ve told you so many times about how Alex Turner’s words play critical part of my fondness to the band called Arctic Monkeys. One of the reason why the band is so likeable is not only how good they sound, but how their song feels like talking to you. From the catchy song of their first album called Mardy Bum that tells the story about an argument with a sulky girlfriend to the unconscious drunk dialing to your ex in Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re High. There is this one time that Turner participated in his band mate Matt Helders’ DJ mixed album compilation called Late Night Tales (2008). In the album, Turner performed a spoken word track, a short story about an attempt to get the best view of a girl in the subway called A Choice of Three.

The track marked the stamp that the best of Turner is not when he struts in his guitar nor singing countless tunes. It is when he delivered a story about everyday life in witty unpredictable choices of words.

Hear the original track here. Quoting in one of the comment of the video, “The way he tells it is also so punctual and correctly paused.” Have a good Sunday, all you literacy monsters :)

A Choice of Three

Alex Turner

In the tunnel I noticed I had a choice of three. While I thought it very kind of them to offer me this, I do wonder if they realized what a dilemma they were sending to face me.

The trouble was, if I looked at your reflection in the left window I missed the actual image of you and your reflection in the right. And if I looked in the right I had the same problem but the other way around.

At first I thought I should probably settle on one of the mirrors as they were soon to disappear, but that idea quickly wilted, and my attention was drawn back to the center, occasionally checking on either side.

I must say I did question the authenticity of your nap a few minutes before. As the train left Loughborough I suspected it could’ve been a device to avoid conversation. I’d barely considered this for a moment, however, when a heavy breath and a gulping sound that I decided would be too embarrassing to fake led me to conclude that your nap wasn’t fraudulent.

I found it difficult to concentrate on anything else as you slumped beneath your coat. Delighted that we’d waited until this hour to travel so the evening sun got its opportunity to skip across those sleeping cheeks, but unnerved by the prospect of being removed from the opposing chair to yours. I knew it was reserved but hoped that whoever had reserved it had fallen over.

It looked as if today I’d be safe. The train wasn’t too busy but I did take a moment to recall the time when I was less fortunate.

I remembered it with a chilling vivivity we were on the way to Brighton.

I knew it was going to be his seat as soon as I saw him on the platform, unzipping, checking, zipping, and rechecking things. Something about his face suggested that he had for years had a mustache and had not long since removed it. He wasn’t going to think twice about disposing of me, especially considering then he’d get the chance to sit with you.

Though his hiking boot-march through the carriage was rather revolting, it wasn’t this that made my hands tense up into sour claws of nausea. It was the way he said it.

“You’re in my seat.”

No “excuse me,” no polite uncertainty, just the rigid, hideous fact. The thud with which it landed expelled all my preparation. Before I remembered my plans to pretend to be asleep, deaf, French, or only sat there because someone else was in my seat, I was walking to find another vacancy.

I ended up dwelling unhappily beside a girl with a boys bum. I knew that because she walked too far past when she returned to one of what I thought to be two empty seats when I sat myself there. I fidgeted until our reunion on the platform, where you brutally informed me “That man was really rather pleasant, actually.”

Today I thought I’d better make sure that couldn’t happen again and I pulled the ticket from the top of my seat. It took a few attempts and the facade of hanging a jacket to finally complete. I was terribly cautious. There’s a threat of punishment for such deeds by fine as far as I understand, but those shackles were at the back of my mind as I crushed the reservation in my hidden fist. Folding and squeezing as if it were that beast on the way to the seaside.

Fortunately, there was no retribution. If anything the train got quieter as the journey continued.

And so in the tunnel, unable to decide, my head flicked through this trilogy of angles, angel after angle, until we were out the other side.

My frantic twitching no doubt caused the man at the adjacent table to narrow his eyes at the very least, I imagine.

I don’t know for sure.

I didn’t have time to add him to the cycle.

On Being 27

November 16, 2014 by Prisanti Leave a comment

(Read from right to left)
The scene from 20th Century Boys by Urusawa Naoki. One of the greatest comic books ever written in history.

You know, for me, being 27 is quite something.

I don’t have any expectations nor wishes to get up here. But I’m there anyway. Still have the ability to smile, writing cheesy poem, making typo and grammar mistakes, taking bad angle pictures, as well as making several bad decisions. Hell, I am a total happiness!

And at my last birthday, I get the best present of all time.

See? The sun, the ocean, the earth, and all the colors beneath the sky. All of those, are the greatest present a person can get. I got to be alive and nothing can top it all (I guess it is the same gift every year, but I don’t know why it’s just getting better all the time).

My father and I are quite alike. We made bad decisions all the time. We rubbed some people the wrong way all the time. But when we get a chance to do one thing that we can do best, we give all the thing and poured a lot of heart to it. Little by little, over time, I realize what I can do best. And it is to love.

I love, when I love. Because I’ll never run of it.

I was wrong about achievement and envying about what people got. You already know how I really wanted to make a dream machine. I just realized, that somehow ,I tried to be a good example that will make people ‘get inspired’ because of me. But that inspiring kind of thing maybe is not my forte. I don’t have any respected talent to go along anyway. I don’t deserve staying under spotlight, because I’m never get used to. And if there is one who should be under the spotlight, it is you. Maybe I’m not destined to make a dream machine, because I am that dream machine. And you are the dream.

May you got all the falling stars tonight, beautiful nightmares. Thanks for giving me a chance to ever cross your day :)

The Silver Lining of October

November 16, 2014 by Prisanti Leave a comment

What’s the catch of last month?

Ayuningtyas Putri Prahesty’s Wedding.

She finally wed and Ayu is just the prettiest Javanese bride I’ve ever seen. It is sad that the number of people attending wedding shrink little by little, but the silver lining of it, everyone is busy running life they wanted and I hope, it is for the greater good.

Liza Aprilia’s Wedding

I thought, Liza is the last person who I would have seen getting married this quick. But then again, I’m happy for her. She loves adventure and I’d hope she’ll get lot of it by getting married to… what? Her 8 years boyfriend? That’s quite an achievement. And the thing about their wedding that I admire a lot that they pay all of it without their parents’ involvement. An honorable decision that I will remember forever.

On Going to Bali

I bought a plane tickets to Bali (yes, finally!) and attended a colleague’s wedding. He let us came to his house to watch the ritual ceremony the day before the reception. It’s kind of new for me. His family let us took as many photos as we can as we watched closely to each step of the ceremonies and astonished to see how many offers spent to respect the ancestors.

Speaking on the rest of the journey, I let other’s arrange the itinerary and it is included a lot of beaches visit. You know, I hate beaches. I didn’t enjoy beach as much as I enjoy port or the ocean. I didn’t swim, I didn’t dive, what I did? Parasailing. Read more

Hai lagi, Oktober.

October 13, 2014 by Prisanti Leave a comment

Dear October,
I know great things always happened on you. And I know you’ll be too good to me. Anyway, there is an au bade outside my windows telling me to leap further and push harder. Next time, tell them to bring the whole orchestra, will you? :)

Halo.
Oktober lagi. Bulan favorit saya. Sekarang saya sedang memulai sesuatu yang baru dan kadang perasaan saya selalu ingin meluap kemudian meledak. Ada rasa takut, bahagia sekaligus mendebarkan. Tapi teman imaginer saya selalu bertanya, “Apakah kamu merasa senang?”. Kalau jawabannya Ya, artinya semua baik-baik saja.

Nama rasa takutnya, Kawung Living. Brand homeware dan home décor yang niatnya sih ingin dapat terjangkau untuk berbagai lapisan. Karena saya dan Liza (partner kerja saya yg sama excitednya) tahu, bahwa mendanai properti pertama itu amat sangat berat. Kami ingin brand ini menjadi alternatif kebutuhan dekorasi rumah yang modern dan tradisional, tapi tidak menguras pundi-pundi Anda. Awal November ini, Liza akan menikah dan lucunya kami akan berpartisipasi di salah satu bazaar tematik di Grand Indonesia, tidak sampai seminggu dari acara pernikahan digelar :))

Oh iya, acaranya namanya Swag Escape (gaul banget kan namanya), dengan temanya From Brooklyn to Mehico. Kalau ada yang sempat datang tanggal 6-9 November 2014, kami akan stand by di booth no. B28 di lt.5 Grand Indonesia (shameless promotion gini).

Kalau diingat-ingat, tahun ini memang saya tidak memiliki rencana apa-apa. Sama sekali tidak punya jadwal perjalanan atau tiket-tiket murah. Ataupun capaian target mau apa dan harus mendapat apa. Jadi rasanya punya kegiatan baru di akhir tahun seperti dapat suntikan semangat baru. Sampai sekarang, belum ingin muluk-muluk sih. Saya sendiri masih ingin mencoba beberapa hal, sampai ketemu formula yang pas. Soalnya sampai sekarang sistem kerja kami masih agak berantakan. Mungkin juga karena pengaruh beda kota saya dan Liza (yang satu di Depok, yang satu di Cirebon). Didoakan saja semuanya lancar :)

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