Fairy Tales

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All fairy tales is not a lie. They exist. Sometimes in real life, if you got lucky (maybe). Fairy tales doesn’t always ends with happily ever after. Odette and the Prince in The Swan Lake died, Karen the girl with red shoes got amputated. In fact, fairy tales are real life written in rhymes, in satire way.

It is easy to fall in love with fairy tales. I mean, who wouldn’t want it? Roses, kisses, and ride to the sunset were perfectly unbeatable, the solution of every crisis. Who wouldn’t wish for a carpet ride around the world or a kiss of a life time? Whether we realize it or not, those fairy tales molds us to the person we are today. We tend to believe that it is the happiest way of living.

In real life, thing is rather messy. There is thing we know as reason and logic (and pain). I understand the power of feeling, and chemistry, and all words in Love Dictionary – Classic edition. I know, I live with it also. I, myself, is feeling worshipper. I don’t want to complicate thing as simple as feeling. It is the only good thing we have in this miserable world. But sometimes for a certain reason, my conscious mind reacts to the every action I did. I became rational when it comes to decision. Because it is lethal, sometimes you can’t go back past time and undo actions.

I will turn 25 this year, a quarter of decade years old. Young I must be from any other, and older I must be for the rest of it. I’ve got to separate what is fun and what is important. What is now and what is tomorrow. It is inevitable. The reality bites is, it is too late for playing along and going where wind takes.

Maybe some of us are still living in fairy tales, walking in a land far far away. Not knowing about the existence of poisoned apple. I do not judge, it is a choice for waking up. I, for instance, refuse to grow up. I believe Neverland exist, people can fly, and there are boys who would never grow old. But that doesn’t mean I’m not dealing with consequences of my choices.

Living the reality is not about stopping to have fun. It is about understanding the mechanism of life, about knowing how the gear works. Finding pieces to complete puzzle of life. The puzzle itself is a fun game to solve. To find what we are, to find reason, to find what we will become is a scary thing to start, and it will never be an easy process.

Feelings changed, memories faded, heart went away. There is pain, and there is the stiches. We hurt, and we get hurt. We feel desperation, we give sorrow. But we’ve got to waltz this dance anyway. Fairy tales are sweet and somewhat romantic, but what is now, is what we really have to deal with. Give up the fairy tales  thought I’d say. Please, start living.

PS: My favorite classical tales from Disney is (obviously) Aladdin. The answer for the why question is easy. Since earlier age, I choose to be a warrior.

Credits for the original screencaps goes to here.

Exchanging Hearts

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The emptiness of a heart often considered as the main reason why people create word like ‘desperate’. But I thought, the emptiness of heart is almost impossible. There’s plenty of thing need considered on this chaotic era. There is so many things be considered to fill our heart.

Why do we need an important place like heart?

Because being born on the land of excessive beauty, is a blessed. This is the only way to return the favor for letting us step on this magnificent soil. Heart is an equal exchange.

Manis

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In fact, I never wrote anything about my year of being Fungsionaris LFM 2009/2010 here. I wrote some draft, which becomes unfinished, until now. I guess it’s hard to describe something that you don’t know what the name of the feeling is. This is just me, being speechless. As today, I write new piece that successfully drove my tears (again).

My year becoming Fungsionaris had a rocky start to begin with. I became resistant to anyone. So as a year passing by, many tears flew down and I remember yelling at people. But it all paid off in the end, as another tears shed, I remember hugging and holding hands with each other. I remember the How I Met Your Mother-esque video. I remember being happy.

About being Manajer Pendidikan, more than indescribable (is that even a word?). Mixed feelings, some mostly about being happy. Having people to care about is always such a wonderful feeling. Not to mention I had a marvelous teammates of Tim Pendidikan 09/10 ♥ (dearest Dinoy, Sabar, Farin, Keni, Nana, and Icha). I  can hardly forget our daily laugh was, and our regular meeting. I remember giving them chocolates). I remember eating sushi and the laugh on the night talk after that. I remember hugging you back then at Kongres, the feeling still giving me chills by remembering it.

After that, I got songs for my graduation. A Sheila on 7, my favorite one. From dearest Cakru 2009 ♥. I warn you, the feeling becoming a Manajer Pendidikan as a fungsionaris is hardly compare to anything, it is too wonderful. I got more than 6 dozens of children, who I will remember as a product of dreams. And mostly, my dreams. I poured so much love to them that as seeing them right now is such a pride, that they’re grow up too great to be true.

About being a Fungsionaris, I used to see the miniature of the world. Being a fungsionaris is never about being a leader nor the manager, not about being able to be multi tasking. It is way above those things. It is about learning and giving, about growing up, about being a bigger person. I did learn my lesson back there. To stay true to yourself, to trust people, to laugh about bad days, to let loose.

Then, I happened to have another eleven people to enter my life. Eleven partner in crime, which turns out today being “people who I always missed”. You know, I’m not the type of person who likes to bluff about friendship. I don’t like calling people “my second family”, calling sweet names, having dress-code, or being overrated about the stereotypes of friendship. I think each and every friendship doesn’t need to be defined, because there will be no name for it. It just simply a group of people who comfortable with each other and risking their trust to share some feeling. And if you feel like not sharing, then it is fine. There is no exact rule about it, there is no “Bro Code” of it. It’s like the kind of thing I’ve been searching all my life.

sehabis Kongres, ketika mata merah, perut belum buncit, dan rambut masih gondrong

So, I’m glad to meet you all. The kind and caring Mangasi, the extremely cool and brainy Insan, the sweetheart hipster Sella, the awesome tough girl Ayu, the adoring high achiever Vina, the oddly surprising guy Ijul, the marvelously funny (and the one who-you-definitely-want-to-call-first-if-emergency-occurs) Alvin, the stylish mood-maker Angga, the wise and pluffy (soon-to-be-president) Lukman, the amazing hyperactive Bravo, and the brilliant muscle Praba. It was and always be an honor to have you all filling my days.

sehabis wisuda, ketika cantik-cantik dan ganteng-ganteng

This story is just another ordinary one when you compared to Puty’s or Kevin’s that I just read a while ago. But that was that, I could never have written all of my feelings because there was too much of it. It took me years to write such ‘short’ passages, because, like I said, it is hard to write something that doesn’t have a name. Now that I will finish this passage, I want to say thank you (to everyone and everything) for leaving warmth in my heart.

PS: For dearest Fungsionaris 2012/2013 ♥, enjoy the ride and feel that rhythms, you won’t understand the feelings until you get to the end. And I assure you, it is marvelous ;)
Special congratulation goes to Angga and Praba, who will be graduated this April. Gentlemen, you’ve done a great job.
Extra special love goes to Ayu ♥. This too shall pass, dear. I know you can do it. Do give us an awesome amazing closing ceremony :)