It is funny how the life brings you to another level of life complexion. I don’t remember having a personal conversation with my friend questioning when will I get married or what color of kebaya I will wear.

Until last week.

I went to July Graduation, where all the heart breaks. Because certain people are leaving some behind, for better and good. Graduation always feels sad and exhausted, because even when you do nothing there’s certain emotion that sucks you up. Whether it’s sadness, satisfaction (or dissatisfaction), or maybe real happiness :)

Rain dropped hard, but the celebration became merrier. Congratulation is maybe just another shortcut for saying take care of yourself, this is going to be hard (yet fun), be strong. So, I went to hug one of the person I care about, since years ago. His name is Zulfikry—the odd cool guy. The charismatic one of a kind character.

How the number becomes smaller :P

One of the card that went unsent (I promise to give you the cards the next time we’ll meet)

I know we’ll still share the same laugh or another story. And I still remember that you’ll secure me the VIP invitation to your wedding day :)) Have a good graduation day, Zulfikry!

Semua orang tahu rasanya kekurangan.

Tapi betapa sulitnya berkata cukup dan betapa mudahnya menginginkan lebih.

Every morning on my office’s pantry, I use to make a cup of tea, simply to live up the day. But there’s always  a new magic when you’re adding the chemicals. 3 spoons of sugar will taste different than adding 2 and a half spoon and then the half of the spoon. It’s like meeting a new person every day, there’s always a new drama, and a new perspective.

I don’t know what’s up with the life their having. But the sum of it, sometimes appear at the surface, no matter how good they covered it up.

As I grow up, I do think I see many faces of the world. Not as many as some people are (because I’ve never met an African or an Arabian nor sharing a snack with them). But the time when I get the chance to know someone, I’ll try to appreciate it. By a little chat, a little laugh, and some thoughts sharing. Now, here I am. A fresh graduate.

I try to make friends with people who is also a fresh graduate, trying to understand what they see in life, how their perspective are, how wise they see the world and finally, how well they know the word ‘enough’. I know out there, there are so many jobs that have bigger paid with way better benefit. But the one I’m having now is surely more than enough for me. Why saying that? Because with lack of experience and smaller brain than the others, what I can do right now is to be thankful. For the chance to step into this world, for the opportunity to learn about life itself. The outside world is crazy, as well as a lot of people who always wanting more than what they’re having. What’s up with the moral, if you’re just after the salary? Where’s the eagerness to learn, if you’re just after the pride? Yes, I do know nothing but I’m here to understand. After all, I’m not the only one living in this coalition of dust.

You’re just as precious as others. The beauty of the world, which made the tea magical. The tasteful chemicals.

Personally, I say thank you rather than hate you. This is another chance to know you guys, to understand the perspective. And when I’m done, I know I’ll be wiser. That is the way the Warrior of Light would definitely do.

Hello, people. Let me make you a pot of tea and just let the heart talk :)

Let me tell you this. I’ll turn 24 this year. For my batch, I’m considered old because the common birth year for my batch is 1988 or 1989 (or some who brilliantly epic friend who’s born on 1990), while my birth year is 1987.  I’m old and maybe you’re not, but people sometimes still called me childish. Not just because my looks (oh yeah, sometimes). But I keep wondering what the word childish is all about?

People who is in relationship, define talking childishly to each other as the sign of being closer, the bond. Because when things like that happen, you believe that he/she is a keeper. Because you feel comfortable enough to do something you’ve been ashamed to do to others. Because somewhere in our silent times, we used to remembering the glory days when running still our favorite thing to do. Longing for another day of being careless, for being stupid, to stop overthinking everything. We’re afraid of responsibility.

I used to define a bold line between being mature and being old, how the line became thinner each day. Because I’ve seen people (almost/beyond) at my age blaming the past, comparing each other life, and talking about the passion he/she can’t get because of “some condition”. The condition is just a reason, an easy way out of not blaming yourself for your own choices. Sorry to tell you this, for me they just become a spoiled brat. Because I do believe, if you have passion big enough, like love, passion will find a way.

And yes, I have a thousand comic books and still counting. I read One Piece and Naruto  on Mangastream each week, and I intended to complete my forgotten collection when I have enough money (on my own terms). I bought a bagpack (instead of a handbag) yesterday (which I’m so proud of). I wear flat shoes and still wearing no makeup everyday. And yes, don’t call me childish because I’m not wearing a heels. May age be a number because being mature is a state of mind not the way you look.

and I still enjoy a big bowl of ice cream while playing City of Wonder on Facebook

What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us, what we have done for others and the world remains and it is immortal.

~Albert Pike

Terima kasih telah memberi saya kesempatan untuk memulai. Bismillahirahmanirrahim.

It is hard to stay at the grey area. After 3 years since writing this piece, I still think being other is easier. It is easier to become Red, the mad one. Who always angry about anyone, anything, any place, throwing curse and being a bitch. It is easier to become Blue, the sad and the pessimist. Judging ourselves by minus and always feeling gloom. It is also easier to become Orange, the insulin. Being the vitamin of the day, giving smile and spreading happiness. It is easier to become green, the nurture. Telling people that it is great becoming yourself and it’s not necessary to become hipster as long as you love yourself. Though Grey gives you the mature and thoughtful vibe, I still pity people who stay being one.

Lately, when my friends change their status to become an employee, I often hear whining that say working days is just a repetition of boring things, over and over again. But you see, routine shouldn’t kill you. It is up to you to make your day meaningful or not. And finally I have my own (or do I always have it?). I fail to get my post graduate degree (at least for now) and I can’t take any internship on some UN organizations, but I still want to take my part.  So, here’s my step.

First: Indonesia.

Next: The universe.

PS: Good luck for the seminar, Ijul :D