There were times when I wish to be somewhere else,
something else,
someone else.
But most of time, I just want to be the best version of myself.
The one who is kind and loving.
Who knows when to stop and when to run.
Who knows how to do the best even when she doesn’t know where to go.
Who knows how to feel content with all she might.

After that, I think I’m going to catch a comet tail.

Ia tidak bercerita tentang masa lalu.
Tapi pengharapan akan masa depan.
Yang membentang, atau mungkin yang cepat berakhir.

Ia tidak bercerita tentang batas.
Tapi tentang jalur kereta api.
Yang membentang, atau mungkin yang cepat usang.

Hari ini cukup cerah dan sepertinya, kami bisa bercerita tentang apa saja.
Kebenaran yang tidak lagi nyata.
Tergerus karena sejarah mengatakan tentang kebenaran yang lain.
Bahkan rasanya, kami tidak akan ingat seperti apa kebenaran itu.

Tapi kami tetap ada di sini.
Menunggu.
Sesekali berharap.
Kadang kami lupa harapan apa saja yang pernah terucap.
Tapi rasanya semuanya menyenangkan.

Dan kalau boleh berharap, kami ingin berharap lebih lama lagi.
Untuk para anak yang terlahir.
Yang semoga, tak hentinya bercerita.

Hari ini, saya ingin keluar rumah.
Merasakan matahari di atas kepala, tidak melalui celah-celah jendela atau layar televisi.
Mungkin saya tidak akan memilih pantai, karena mataharinya terlalu dekat.
Dan matahari terbenam tidak seperti kelihatannya.
Warna jingga yang memakan ragu dan semua yang terang di sekitarnya.

Hari ini, saya ingin keluar rumah.
Merasakan bau tanah dan keramaian.
Tangis bayi dan gosip tetangga.
Tentang yang kini dan yang sempat kini.

Hari ini, saya ingin keluar rumah.
Menatap asa dan sedikit tentang lalu.
Melupakan apa yang tidak ada, ataupun yang semula tidak ada.
Kembali ke pelukan dunia.
Ke tengah hangatnya cerita semesta.

Between doubting and betting.
Deceiving and shouting.
Aligning and scheming.
We see human transforms into many forms.

The dealers stand in front of them all.
The man stands above them all.
The winner stands between them all.

Let’s do more auctions.
So we can guess the price of fruits and fishes.
Let’s go bargaining a little more.
So we can get some cube in between.

Coin flipping, straws drawing, dice throwing.
Maybe today is another day to get lucky.
Another time to mine minerals.
Another time to catch magnets.
Another day to bet your life on the match.

We think we can overcome the blood rush and the time limits.
Get on a monorails between stations.
Playing black and white with the cards.
Moving twelve pieces of chess.

But the innocent slays the kings.
The king slays the kingslayer.
The stories will always rewritten.

There is a wound that would never heal.
It’s infected
It burns.
It drains life out of people.
And starts drawing other things near them.

Barely alive and breathing.
Finding reason to keep alive, while consuming hate and anger beyond reason.

There is a wound that would never heal.
By happiness that she faked out.
By forgiveness she seeks desperately.
She never knows how she wounds other in the process.
She uses disadvantages as the most powerful weapon.

But we can care less.
It is her words against her.

There is nothing in the world that can heal an infectious wound.
Me.
Him.
You.
And if the end was near, and tomorrow will be another day, may the sins be forgiven.
Then let’s toast to another dawn.