Para Pencuri Jiwa

Kakek Tetangga di sebelah rumah adalah mantan ksatria istana.

Ia selalu bercerita tentang rencana pengepungan pada Perang Kutub yang tersohor itu. Kemenangan kerajaan kami di Perang Kutub tidak hanya mempersatukan Desa Barat dan Desa Timur yang sudah lama berseteru tetapi juga memenangkan tambang mineral di Bukit Selatan. Salah satu harta terbesar yang menopang perekonomian negeri kami sekarang ini.

Kakek tetangga mungkin hanya salah satu dari 150.000 ksatria yang membentuk formasi perang paling terkenal di seantero negeri, tapi kehadirannya di desa kecil ini selalu berhasil menghibur kami para bocah. Kakek tetangga selalu bangga akan kisah-kisah perjuangannya dan menceritakannya saat sore tiba. Mendengar cerita-ceritanya terkadang seperti mendengar mimpi buruk, atau khayalan mistis yang mengerikan. Tetapi kami para bocah hanya mampu termangu melingkari kursi roda Kakek Tetangga. Bagai terkait, kami tak mampu melepaskan diri dari setiap kata yang dikeluarkan Kakek Tetangga dalam ceritanya. Entah karena kekelaman yang ada di cerita itu, atau kami memang telah lama menantikan petualangan yang mendebarkan di luar desa kecil ini.

Suatu hari, ia bercerita tentang seekor kelelawar yang dapat mencuri jiwa. Kelelawar pencuri jiwa, hanya terlihat seperti kelelawar biasa. Mereka bersembunyi di kegelapan, mencari mangsa ketika matahari terbenam. Mengepakkan sayapnya meraup jiwa-jiwa yang kesepian, yang tertinggal, yang patah hati. Kelelawar pencari jiwa hanya punya satu pengenal fisik, di belakang telinganya terdapat bercak putih. Semakin banyak bercak putih yang ada di sana, semakin banyak pula jiwa yang sudah dilahapnya. Ketika mencapai batas tertentu, jiwa-jiwa yang telah dicurinya akan menyiksa Sang Kelelawar sampai mati.

Salah satu dari kami bertanya kenapa kelelawar itu tetap mencuri jiwa, padahal melahap banyak jiwa akan membunuhnya. Kakek tetangga berkata, di kegelapan banyak yang menemukan sisi yang tak pernah terlihat. Kesepian dalam kesendirian, terlupakan dalam keramaian. Mereka hanya ingin ditemukan di kegelapan.

PS: Foto di atas diambil dari artikel Ksatria Malam Penyambat Nyawa yang bisa dibaca di sini atau di edisi cetak National Geographic Indonesia Juli 2012.

Go

In low light, I see your eyes. Tired, sleepy eyes. You are just one of another. Yet, why are you still staring back at me?

Please never dim that fire. We both too close to it, and we’re just helpless. We chase this fire our entire life. Different places, different way. Yet, you’re there.

So please, don’t stay.

Go wherever wind takes you. And I’ll go, wherever I can make people fly. Then, when years passed by, when the sun goes down, let’s meet once more. I will, and I hope you will.

Just, sit there and ship another tea.
It will be enough.
And I promise there won’t be any toast.

Just us, dancing in this fire.

She is

…like you.
She is like a ticking bomb. Ready to explode.
She is like a ticking bomb. Her days numbered, but some other time become countless.
She is like a ticking bomb. Launched in a loose cannon.
She is like a ticking bomb. Colorful yet dreadful.
A split second then it’s all be white, red, and then turn black. Or grey.
She is like a ticking bomb. Wanted to be found.
Eventually, nobody would find her. Yet everyone race to discover her.
She is like a ticking bomb. Wanted to be detonated.

Yet, doesn’t find someone that deserve the honor.

Fairy Tales

All fairy tales is not a lie. They exist. Sometimes in real life, if you got lucky (maybe). Fairy tales doesn’t always ends with happily ever after. Odette and the Prince in The Swan Lake died, Karen the girl with red shoes got amputated. In fact, fairy tales are real life written in rhymes, in satire way.

It is easy to fall in love with fairy tales. I mean, who wouldn’t want it? Roses, kisses, and ride to the sunset were perfectly unbeatable, the solution of every crisis. Who wouldn’t wish for a carpet ride around the world or a kiss of a life time? Whether we realize it or not, those fairy tales molds us to the person we are today. We tend to believe that it is the happiest way of living.

In real life, thing is rather messy. There is thing we know as reason and logic (and pain). I understand the power of feeling, and chemistry, and all words in Love Dictionary – Classic edition. I know, I live with it also. I, myself, is feeling worshipper. I don’t want to complicate thing as simple as feeling. It is the only good thing we have in this miserable world. But sometimes for a certain reason, my conscious mind reacts to the every action I did. I became rational when it comes to decision. Because it is lethal, sometimes you can’t go back past time and undo actions.

I will turn 25 this year, a quarter of decade years old. Young I must be from any other, and older I must be for the rest of it. I’ve got to separate what is fun and what is important. What is now and what is tomorrow. It is inevitable. The reality bites is, it is too late for playing along and going where wind takes.

Maybe some of us are still living in fairy tales, walking in a land far far away. Not knowing about the existence of poisoned apple. I do not judge, it is a choice for waking up. I, for instance, refuse to grow up. I believe Neverland exist, people can fly, and there are boys who would never grow old. But that doesn’t mean I’m not dealing with consequences of my choices.

Living the reality is not about stopping to have fun. It is about understanding the mechanism of life, about knowing how the gear works. Finding pieces to complete puzzle of life. The puzzle itself is a fun game to solve. To find what we are, to find reason, to find what we will become is a scary thing to start, and it will never be an easy process.

Feelings changed, memories faded, heart went away. There is pain, and there is the stiches. We hurt, and we get hurt. We feel desperation, we give sorrow. But we’ve got to waltz this dance anyway. Fairy tales are sweet and somewhat romantic, but what is now, is what we really have to deal with. Give up the fairy tales  thought I’d say. Please, start living.

PS: My favorite classical tales from Disney is (obviously) Aladdin. The answer for the why question is easy. Since earlier age, I choose to be a warrior.

Credits for the original screencaps goes to here.