a shallow and mad journal
Un-rhymed lines and broken heart stories. A poem made over grammar mistakes. Every words between every colors.
I want to see you under the sun.
Unlike these city lights that trying so hard.
Covering darkness and hiding secrets.
Tomorrow,
or maybe the day after.
I want to see you under the sun.
Under the bright shimmering sun.
Not worrying about the heat and the busy people.
I think I lost the definition of beauty between your eyes.
Those teary eyes that almost shattered me every time,
to the point that there’s no way to mend it all back.
Lately, I cannot relate to any of you.
I don’t understand the language.
I don’t agree with the thoughts.
I don’t know that kind of feeling.
I don’t find it attractive.
I don’t want to know all the extra details.
I don’t want to be asked.
I don’t want to tell you stories.
I want to be invisible (but sadly cannot).
Maybe I’ll build a wall and dig gutters (so you will not see any of me).
The truth is, I’m afraid not to be like you,
where I’m supposed not to.
But for now, let’s build a wall, dig gutters, and be invisible.
I want to buy a new pair of double tip marker and spend a lot on a rounded corner craft cutter.
I want to have a Wacom to trace all my handwriting because I’m tired of using a mouse.
I want to get a Pantone book so I don’t need to argue with my fabric Vendor anymore.
I want to eat at an all-you-can-eat meat buffet and take 2 scoops of Italian gelato.
I want to walk in a flower pattern shoes and grab a handful of sample sale shirts in my favorite clothing store.
I want to take return tickets to Taipei and have all the street food and milk tea in a night market.
I want many things.
Things that I don’t really need.
But feeling content doesn’t involve new things.
Feeling enough doesn’t need many things.
And today, among other days, I think I don’t need any more than I already have.
Each day, with winds in our sail.
Discovering.
Life that seems small.
Heart that shrinks.
Exploding tears of joy.
Fake smiles and nervous laughters.
Living,
barely breathing,
and nowhere to run.