We Are Always At War

We live in a strange world, with confusing problems and ambiguous words. Where we hate everybody and everybody hate us. We are always at war. Mostly with ourselves, occasionally with people in different religion and country. We are always at war and we love to play victim. Whether we are at upper side or opposition, we always longed to be the victim.

You must see with eyes unclouded by hate. See the good in that which is evil, and the evil in that which is good. Pledge yourself to neither side, but vow instead to preserve the balance that exists between the two.

Hayao Miyazaki

I love this country called Indonesia and the messiness it holds within. The beauty of diversity. Sure we are always at war, long before this land found its name. We fought with each other and everybody said that we deserved a little bit of everything.

The founder of this nation believes that what will make us a great country is not the land, nor its landscapes. It is not the resources, nor the sea. It is the people. Bhinneka Tunggal Ika is our nation slogan and it doesn’t say anything about our land. For many years, it is always about the people.

But this great power called people is also the one who lead us to doom. The first great war I’ve experienced is on 1998. I still don’t get it until know the root cause of it all. What makes us believe we are greater than anybody else? What makes us think that we deserve more when we give so little? There are many wars after that, in the land that I’ve never stepped on, and in the land I knew so well. But the closest it gets to me is the 2014 Election. I saw people started a war amongst themselves. I don’t know whether it is something buried down within, or someone just get really mad about everything. But one thing indeed, we are still at war.

I went to the West and saw Islam, but no Muslims; I got back to the East and saw Muslims, but not Islam.

Muhammad Abduh

Maybe I’m not that good of understanding Islam, like any of you. But not any bit of Islam that I know and dearly love, tell me about hating nor vengeance. But people love to play victim and suddenly having a religion becomes a reason to start a war.

We live in a country where we were betrayed by many people. It’s hurt a lot more when people who considered as a religious person does not reflected the same trait in his/her social behavior. It’s madhouse and it hurts too much. There were a time that I hate a lot of people, a figure, a political party, a political party based on religion, people, in general. But if I can repeat it in my head for its million time, not any bit of Islam that I know and dearly love, tell me about hating nor vengeance. We don’t deserve to be a judge and we already release too much anger.

To live in this kind of world, all you need is a lot of love and patience. It takes time to heal this country and its people. We are never be a great country, if we don’t stop the war. We will never be one, if we are ignoring many perspectives. Trying to understand that no one ever deserve more than any of us.

Tonight, all my prayer goes to all of you. Who is in constant seeking but always be found, who is found but forget to seek. Let’s not feed the evil by our anger and hatred. Let’s give love without expecting something in return. Let’s be human, as good as we can be.

Cermin kebenaran dijatuhkan Tuhan ke dunia dan pecah berkeping-keping. Setiap manusia mengambil satu persatu pecahannya dan menganggap cerminnya memantulkan kebenaran. Pemahaman akan kebenaranpun terpecah belah dan menyempit, karena masing-masing hanya melihat pantulan kecil dari pecahan cermin yang berbeda.

On Surprises

It was a sunny day in Osaka when my sister and I visited this restaurant. A small Okonomiyaki restaurant in a narrow alley. We don’t even remember the direction or even the  name of the place. We found the restaurant address in a free travel guide book that we got at our hostel. The neighborhood was quite and we were the only customer. The owner was a family consists of three and they didn’t speak any English. Thankfully the menu was also written in English. Each table is equipped with a small teppan (metal griddle). The owner cooked the sobayaki in our table and delivered the okonomiyaki in a plate.

It was a special moment for us since the family treated us really nice even if we communicated in the most absurd way. We love the warm welcome and the good food. I think the beauty in travelling is always about the surprises. You never know when you will find a special moment to treasure.

Maybe Tomorrow

I might have a chance to remember you again tonight. It’s raining outside, and there’s a possibility of a heavy storm at weather forecast earlier this morning.

I might have a chance to remember you again tonight. Because I’m staring at these windows, with a cup of hot coffee. I’m sure it was hot earlier. I just forget how many minutes I’ve spent staring at darkness and get a glimpse of you. Twice? Five? Nine?

I might have a chance to remember you again tonight. Because I started to tune to this radio, a late night program called Heartbreak Radio and they play all of our memory songs. I’m not really sure whether my memory starts to play a game on me. I think whichever songs they play, it will make me remember you more.

Fragment after fragment of you. Spinning and moving in different direction. Calming and heartbreaking. Warming and chilling. As the rain gets heavier, I sit down hours after hours. Until the last drop of coffee and it doesn’t change anything about your memory.

I might have a chance to remember you again tonight. Or should I said, I do? Well, let’s just say I do remember you again tonight. This exact hour is the darkest it can be, of my thoughts of you. And I wonder if tomorrow I will have the same thoughts again. And how many nights that thoughts will visit me.

I’m running out of coffee. I’m running out of time. It doesn’t hurt as much anymore. Well, maybe tomorrow the rain will wash your fragments and it won’t matter what song they’ll play, my memory will last of this heavy rain.

Shinsekai District – Osaka

Did I tell you where the best place in Osaka is?

The Shinsekai District is nothing but vibrant, noisy, and colorful places.

Whether you visit it on day or night, it’s still full of good food and warm people.

With strange looking and beautiful billboard and posters.

…and narrow colorful alley.


Along with various dishes, from shaved ice to deep fried foods.

Sunday, Sunday

I recently struggle to find a decent platform to buy songs after Nokia Music shut down. Sure there is Itunes, Amazon Music, and Spotify but here in Indonesia other than Itunes, I don’t find anything to be working. Then, there happen to be Langit Musik and Melon :)) Melon actually offers huge variety of music library, but the interface and all web/mobile experience feels awful. It’s confusing and frustrating to buy songs. The most disappointing thing is the download link seems not working, even if I already bought the songs :(

But anyway, I managed to make this playlist after awhile. The playlist contains some new bands I recently followed and some recent hit songs that I find catchy.

Sunday, Sunday

1. The Vaccines – Handsome
2. Alt-J – Left Hand Free
3. Catfish and the Bottlemen – Hourglass
4. Circa Waves – Stuck In My Teeth
5. Hozier – Someone New
6. The 1975 – Girls
7. The Kooks – Bad Habit
8. Betty Who – Somebody Loves You
9. Walk The Moon – Shut Up and Dance
10. The Neighbourhood – Sweater Weather
11. Circa Waves – T-Shirt Weather
12. Paramore – Anklebiters
13. Lower Than Atlantis – Words Don’t Come So Easily
14. Stereophonics – C’est La Vie
15. The Vaccines – Norgaard

If you happen on Spotify, hear it here.