//June 04, 2010//
I just happen to have all reason to feel so failed about all July graduation, but for some reason I don’t feel that blue. Some says, you just have to lose, to know how to win.
For this couple of months, I’ve been watching closely to some lives. People who has graduation, people who prepares their graduation, people who (accidentally) delays their graduation, and I’ve never been thankful for being where I am. I haven’t got my graduation, which means more burdens for both my parents and sister. I’m sad, but I will pay them back. With any glory replacing these 3 months delay.
Because of that, I’m just planning things, for many. For June, I’ll be revising my script and finalizing my final projects. Getting my seminars on early July. For July, I’ll be preparing holiday, with workshops and (hopefully) some backpacking, holding flowers for my friends that graduate, kisses them on their beautiful dolled up dress. Writing tons of unpoetic sentences with wrong grammars and bad picture from my Instax camera. For August, I will be having application ready to continue my study abroad while having feast month and prays more. For September I will submit my CV on some United Nation foundation, begging for internship abroad, New York or Paris would be great. If I’m not getting any, I’d love to try National Geographic or even score on Kompas. For October, I will get my license to be 23 years old fellow living great life and having my graduation with some of my best friends. I need all those passion to live. I mean, being alive in nowadays soul-less world would be deary. I know all my plans won’t work the way I’ve been planning it to be. But failing and rejections are just the signs for me to know that, I’m alive.
I want to feel alive.