The Disappearance

I want to pack 3 shirts and a sweater. 5 instant noodles and a pouch of skincare in traveling size.
I want to have an empty water bottle and couple of socks.
Maybe an extra pair of pants and umbrella (because the weather has been unpredictable lately).

I want to pack and go.
Somewhere alone, without music and the notifications.

I don’t know if I will still be hurt, because it’s complete darkness no matter where I look.
It’s like running away (and I don’t care).
The same thing like how much I eat these past days (and still feel nothing) or how deft I am with all these noises.
Every day is like a constant battle. With myself. With the surrounding and the noises.

I really want to pack and go. 
Somewhere alone, without the sadness and the pain.

Longer Days

It suddenly feels normal to experience loneliness, which then I prefer it more. The cold room and the bitterness of life. Mixing it up and never letting go.

I don’t know how to dismantle the emptiness. The heavy atmosphere that surrounds me in a veil. My inability to do more, my throat that goes dry every time I try to speak.

These things, that suffocated you.

Will it ever go away?

The Subtle Agenda

There’s a rumor that The Queen’s Teardrop is now being sold on the black market. Price starts from 1.000.000 gold coins, an amount of price equals of a month of food supply for the Bottom Neighborhood.

You may ask what The Queen’s Teardrop actually is, but you will get a pretty blunt answer. The Queen’s Teardrop is actually The Queen’s tears in a glass drop. It’s widely known that a few months ago, The Princess suddenly run away with some Knight from a foreign country. Cannot contain the sadness and the sudden departure, The Queen has locked herself in the chamber and never stopped crying ever since.

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The Priority Confusion

Di sebuah pembicaraan grup WhatsApp seputar KPR, salah satu teman saya bertanya apakah ada di antara kita yang menganut paham ‘millennials‘, yang tidak lagi menganggap penting tempat tinggal yang tetap sebagai sebuah kebutuhan. Di sebuah kuis tentang Which Millennials Are You? (yang mana saya lupa apa link-nya), saya ingat pernah mendapat hasil Conservative Millennials, yang katanya tipe millennials yang masih menganut nilai-nilai agama dan budaya. Sehingga, saya sendiri masih menganggap keberadaan ‘rumah’ maupun ‘tempat tinggal’ yang tetap sebagai suatu kebutuhan yang utama. Terlepas dari semua itu, menurut saya ini sungguh menarik.

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The Everyday Lives

Saya sering membaca anggapan bahwa yang namanya kanal sosial media adalah tempatnya dokumentasi yang sudah terkurasi. Semua hal yang indah-indah saja. Lalu ada juga beberapa anggapan yang menyatakan bahwa di balik semua itu ada usaha dan cerita yang tidak diperlihatkan. Dan rentetan penjelasan klise yang menurut saya kita semua sudah paham runutannya. Menurut saya, fenomena ini menarik untuk ditilik.

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